A “visionary” named Raj

           Raj Thackeray has opposed the celebration of Bihar Diwas in Mumbai on 15^th April. He has since retracted his statement , but he remains opposed to Biharis migrating to Mumbai.

           Let us all “hail” this visionary from Maharashtra. Why stop at Biharis, I ask? We must target all non Marathis living and working inMaharashtra. Surely Biharis along with people from various other states ofIndiaare a threat to the local population. So let us take this view further and implement it for all non-Maharashtrians. Let us throw out everyone who hails from other states .Let us ban the entry of all non-Maharashtrians intoMaharashtra. But surely this would pose some problems. We are after all Indians. Our prime minister himself is a Sikh. So what difference does that make? Surely we don’t have any use of  a Sikh PM. We should ban him from enteringMaharashtra. We will also lose a lot of our closest friends and colleagues but they can be replaced by local friends and colleagues. So there is no need for us to worry about such frivolous details.

            Now that we have rid ourselves of all outsiders we need to ban their culture,food,festivities as well. Surely even these are a threat to locals. So let us first start with religious text.We must ban all such materials which even remotely have their roots  anywhere exceptMaharashtra. This means   that we must ban Ramayana, Ram being the king of Ayodhya which is located in present day UP is surely a north Indian. Thus even praying to lord Ram and Hanuman from this ancient text should be considered blasphemy inMaharashtra. Let us consider  Mahabharat, another Indian epic. Mahabharat was fought in Kurukshetra ,that’s present day Haryana. So now we must ban Mahabharat as well.But what happens to lordKrishnaand the Gita he explained to Arjun? That’s just one more North Indian and hence we must ban him and also Gita.

           Let us now turn our attention to their festivals. We must ban Diwali, Dassehra, Janmashtami,Durga puja,Navratri and various other festivals which have some thing or the other to do with rest of the country. Certainly these festivals are an attempt by these outsiders to force their cultures upon us and must not be tolerated at all.

           Having rid ourselves of all such festivals, we must now turn our attention to some thing else. Now what else could we possibly ban? Food!!! Yes we must now plan to ban their food. Mumbai’s favourite  snack Pani puri,sev puri have originated inBihar. Needless to say they are banned. Samosa has come from north, that’s gone as well. No restaurants can serve south Indian ,Punjabi ,Jain,Gujrati,Rajasthani…or any other non-Maharashtrian food. But wait a minute, aren’t we being a little hypocritical .How can we ban Indian delicacies and still allow Chinese, Thai, American cuisines to survive in our state??? It’s because our Raj hasn’t opposed foreigners yet. So their culture and they can survive.

          Let us now turn our attentions to all the industries and companies operating out of Maharastra which are owned by outsiders. Its good bye to them as well.Only companies owned by Marathis will survive inMaharashtra. We must now ban Bollywood movies as well. Or any movie not in Marathi for that matter. We must allow Indian team to play games in Maharshtra’s stadiums only if the team comprises of only Maharashtrians.

          Now that we have rid ourselves of all outsiders we must look back at what we have achieved. What a glorious state we would have created!! Surely, I have missed a few things we could ban but our Raj will think of that.

          But with this will the state survive? What will be the reaction of Indians and Indian government? Will we remain a part ofIndia? Who cares!!! Surely our great Raj doesn’t ,so neither should we.

          May be I should have written this blog in Marathi….No ..Hindi is banned by Raj , English is safe.