I was listening to Hindi songs on my Ipod. I came across a song which I had never really liked until that moment. The song was “Dooriyan hai Zaroori”. Well why did I like the song? There are many reasons. The song really answered what all was going through my mind that moment.
Firstly, I like a girl very much but I somehow do not feel that I’ll ever get her. She has a boyfriend and I could do nothing about it. I have been that girl’s best buddy. But somehow she always takes me for granted. We have great time when we are together. But I do not think she cares for me as much as I do.That’s why I want to run away from her. Not to get her attention but to prevent myself from getting heartbreak.
I have expressed my feelings for her not directly but through the poems. I’ve struggled to pen down thoughts about her the things that really make my heart skip a beat. Somehow I’ve done it. I’ve lost my sleep writing good things about her and pampering her with sweet things. She says she likes the poems but never really appreciates it directly. I’ve to ask her how the poem was and then she says it was sweet. I do not know if that was true at all. It may be true (the poems are indeed awesome) but I should not be the one asking her, Right? I am sure she must be framing those poems somewhere. Afterall I’ve spent a lot of time writing those and surely she would be preserving those poems.
I want her by my side not 24*7 but at least the time I am in office. I want to tell her that she is special for me. But should I? She already has someone sitting 700kms away from office who says he loves her. I sometimes wonder why there was technological advancement. It kills me. I really hate when her boyfriend calls. I pretend to be happy but I am not really happy. But how will she come to know that I love her? May be she never will.
She has a friend who too loves her. Wow that is interesting. Pretty girls will always have lots of options. To be fair to her she is that guy’s friend and it is absolutely fair for her to expect him to be with her whenever she needs him. And to be fair to him that guy is always there for her. But Hang on, that hurts me. She will ask me why I get mad at her for such small things? Well because I feel I am the best.I care for you….You stupid girl. She will say “So Sweet, You are an important person in my life”. That piece of acting saves me from getting mad at her.She looks sweet when she says that.
Let us talk about the other guy.What will happen when he proposes the girl?When that guy will express feelings for that girl then she will bring that 700km away guy into the picture and then ask him to be just friends”. The guy would agree hoping that someday something would go wrong. But I hope whatever happens my girl should always be happy. It doesn’t matter where she goes. She should be treated as a Princess and she deserves it.
Let us talk about my situation. I am an honest guy. I have never had a girlfriend in my life. I developed feelings for this girl but I expect nothing. I know once I go away from her life everything is going to end. But hang on there is another twist. The girl would pass the buck onto me. She will say it is perfectly okay if you chose not to talk to me. It is in your best interest. Wow honestly tell me how would a guy who loves the girl ever think of not keeping in touch with a girl he likes. But the girl does not want herself to look like a fool hence such a drama. Nothing new I would say.
Now let us talk about that 700km guy. Well, no comments. I don’t know what is going to happen. If things workout between them I would be happy for both of them but if they don’t I’d always wonder what have I done wrong not to win that girl’s heart. But I expect the unexpected, I expect her to change for me. My love would make her a better person. Hmmm..I know I am expecting too much but “Umeed pe Duniya Kayam hai”. If you have no dreams your life is incomplete.
Well now please tell me how should I forget her? I know she is never going to be mine but I secretly hope that she loves me at least for a day, a week, a month, a year, for a lifetime. But that is not going to happen if I give her attention and care a lot about her. I’ve to ignore her I’ve to let her understand what she is going to miss. Even if she realizes my true unconditional love she is not going to call me ever. I am her best friend and I know her inside out. Hence “Dooriyaan hai zaroori”. I just hope she understands my point. To dissuade me even further my next song in the playlist was “Ishq Hota Nahi Sabhi Ke liye”. I hate you my Ipod.